Once Upon a Time - Firebird

5.20 "Firebird"

I am so done. Put a fork in me I'm done and if the previews for next week are suggesting what I think they're suggesting I will have absolutely zero reason to ever watch another episode. Because I can't.

So tonight they decide that it will suddenly be a good idea to make a bargain with Hades because he's just proved so trustworthy and Regina has decided that a moment with Zelena has suddenly made her super trustworthy. Killian and Emma go off on a quest (sent by Hades) to find ambrosia to save Killian's life and Rumple pulls the old switcheroo on his dear old dad taking another opportunity to choose power and revenge over love and forgiveness.

Look. I know that Regina has changed a lot and been through a lot, but she's also suspicious and realistic so I find it really odd that she would just so wholeheartedly throw her support behind Zelena. I'm not saying distrust her, but she's dating Hades for pete's sake, so maybe hesitate just a moment before sending them off alone with your boyfriend's daughter? I dunno that seems like it would be not the greatest plan especially because there's no proof that Hades isn't planning on stabbing you all in the back.

from here

Also, how on earth can Zelena and Hades, who have known each other approximately 90 seconds, have true love's kiss while Emma's heart is true and she and Killian have consistently and repeatedly sacrificed everything for each other and yet somehow don't get it? That is completely inconsistent and makes me so angry I'm basically spitting.

Also, also, when did the Hades actor get so bad. He was super stilted and awkward tonight.s.

from here

I liked Henry's plan to help people move on by using his author powers. What a great way to use the time while they had to wait. And Cruella as the evil ruler with Emma Caulfield by her side is hilarious.

As for Rumple's little plan to defeat his father. I understand why he wouldn't want Pan coming back. I'm pretty surprised Pan would ever think that would actually happen. What I don't understand at all is why Rumple had to wait so long before doing it. Wouldn't it have made more sense to do it right away so he could make sure that he didn't miss the portal? Or was he behind the plot to keep the heroes locked in the tower. But why? What would he have to gain from that? Basically nothing, right? I don't know. And even if he was behind it, it wouldn't have precluded him from leaving any earlier. It felt like BECAUSE PLOT except there wasn't even a plot reason for that to happen.

Question: Does Emma now wear contacts? Or did she get lasik surgery? Or do they sell contact solution at the Underbrooke pharmacy? These are the really important questions I have.

Okay. Emma and Killian. First of all, how did they not realize that the fire thing was a test. Pretty standard fair people. You'd think they hadn't gone around saving people for the last almost five seasons.

All right, I understand that Hades would trick them and try to keep them there. That's a very Hades move. Though I would have liked some sort of smirk thing when he turned to face the camera right before going through the portal. A little gloating moment. Or something. Unless it wasn't actually him, but I find that highly doubtful. Highly.

from here

I'm guessing that Killian didn't come back up with Emma because he's off to find the magic rock bridge so he can move on? Was that even in the same place though? I'm super confused by that. Couldn't he at least have come to say goodbye?

But also Why. Why on earth would they keep Killian trapped in the Underworld after all of this. Just. Just why. This is how I reacted to Emma getting on the elevator without Killian:

I REFUSE I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE FOR HER TO LOSE HIM LIKE THIS. NO NO NO NO NO. I can't. I'm so done with this show. I am so very done. TRUE LOVE'S KISS SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM. You know what I am just done. I don't even want to watch it anymore if they can never let Emma ever be happy. First Graham then Neal and now Killian. It's just not. Like I'm so mad I just want to I can't even talk I am so angry right now.

I seriously can't. And if they kill off Henry the way the previews for next week are suggesting, then I will have zero reason to go on with this show.

So, I was super happy with tonight's episode, can't you tell? Check in next week for more angry rants because at least I don't have to suffer in silence.